Guards down

While I was driving today, I was listening to a song on the radio called Hold me by Jamie Grace, I've heard this song many time on the radio and I've even sang along to it many times, but today was different. As I was listing to the lyrics carefully, I said to myself "no way, Can someone really feel that way?, the song was probably written talking about a boyfriend and she just added the word Lord in it". You see, this song talks about how she loves the way God holds her, how she is always thinking about Him and how He turns her bad days into good. The girl really seems to be in love and is enjoying her relationship with Him. It kind of sounds like she is talking to a love one. So I thought, I love God and I know He loves me but I don't express myself about Him that way so, I caught myself questioning the song, but as I kept listing to the song word by word, God speaks to my heart saying "You have not learned to enjoy Me, you haven't allowed Me to love you, you haven't learned to rest in Me". This made me start realizing that it is true and how I wished I could also express myself the same way she does. I want to learn to enjoy my relationship with God. For example, I think that when you know that someone really loves you, you go into a comfort zone in the relationship, your guards come down, you enjoy and you feel more free to love, trust and rest in that person. Well, I believe it is the same way in our relationship with God, when we understand how much He truly loves us, we put our guards down and that is when we sincerely enjoy Him. I think understanding how much God really loves us makes our walk much easier and guilt free. It makes it easier to serve and have a relationship with that God that has so much love and so much willingness to forgive and continue walking with you.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. - 1 John 4:16

Lord,
Help me to understand how much you truly love me, teach me how to love and help me to allow You to love me. Help me bring my guards down so that I may enjoy every moment that I have with you.

Can I be forgiven?

 Have you ever asked yourself, Can I be forgiven for what I have done? Have you ever felt that what you have done was so bad that you know there was no way you could ever be forgiven? Well, let me tell you a story about a man that sinned so bad against God that maybe in the eyes of others his actions could seem unforgivable. His name was king Manasseh and he was the son of king Hezekiah which had been known to be a king that faithfully served God, but that was not the same case of his son king Manasseh, you see he did some horrible things, 2 Chronicles 33:6 NLT tells us "Manasseh also sacrificed his own sons in the fire in the valley of Ben-Hinnom. He practiced sorcery, divination, and witchcraft, and he consulted with mediums and psychics. He did much that was evil in the lord ’s sight, arousing his anger". Later on in the story we see how king Manasseh was shamefully taken as a prisoner by the commanders of the king of Assyria and in the midst of all this he humbled himself and reached out to God and God forgave him "But while in deep distress, Manasseh sought the lord his God and sincerely humbled himself before the God of his ancestors. And when he prayed, the lord listened to him and was moved by his request. So the lord brought Manasseh back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh finally realized that the lord alone is God!" (2 Chronicles 33:12, 13 NLT). You see, even if in the eyes of others we may seem unforgivable, in the eyes of God we find grace, as long as like king Manasseh we go to God with a sincere and humble heart. How bad can our sins and troubles be that God can not forgive? Not bad enough.

If you've never asked God for forgiveness and would like to have a new beginning with God in the center of your life, please say these words:

Lord, I know I've sinned against you and I know I've made mistakes, but I need a change in my life, so I come to You today to ask You for forgiveness and for guidance. I cannot carry all of my burdens, but I know You can and will. Please walk beside me and never let me go. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

God's heart is moved by a sincere and humbled heart, He is more than willing to walk with you and show you His ways.

Empty jars

Sometimes it's hard to give when you feel like there is nothing to offer, there has been many times when it has been very hard for me to serve at church or even speak to someone that is in need just because in the back of my head something tells me that there is nothing I can give or that I am simply not good enough, but there is a story in the bible that God used to let me know that He is willing to work with what I have and willing to provide whatever I am missing. In 2 kings 4:1-7 talks about a story of a poor widow that goes to Elisha for help because her creditors are threatening to take her son away and use him as a slave if she doesn't pays what she owes. In the story we see that Elisha asks her “Tell me, what do you have in the house?” “Nothing at all, except a flask of olive oil,” she replied. (2 Kings 4:2 NLT). When Elisha says "Tell me, what do you have in the house? That is like God saying to me, Denisse, what do you have in you? God doesn't say, well you do not have this or you are missing this there for I cannot use you, no God is saying, if that is what you have, that is what I'll use. Sometimes we are so focused on what we are missing and what we don't have, that we cannot value what we do have. Then Elisha goes on by telling her to borrow some EMPTY jars from the neighbors and at the end God ends up filling not one, not two, but all of the empty jars with oil. You see God is more than willing to fill our empty jars, but we have to be willing to give our empty jars so that He may fill them. If  you are lacking strength, love, mercy, etc.. to give, God will provide what we lack of when we put it in His hands.

From my Heart

From my heart are letters to God that I wrote and still write to let God know how I feel at times. To me this was very important to share because I would like people to understand that it is absolutely normal to feel anxious, lonely, empty, overwhelmed, etc... at times. A lot of us question these emotions and we wonder why we feel the way we feel, now I'm not saying that there is something wrong with questioning these feeling, but what we don't realize is that it is normal to feel this way at times. I often felt that I was the only one going through what I was going through because we often look at other peoples life or at least what they want to show us, but we do not know what is in their hearts. If we only knew? Through these letters, God has showed me that the end result is simply HIM!!! Let me explain, I may not see that God is in the middle of my situation, even though I remind myself that He is, but at the end somehow He lets me know that He is the beginning and the end of my story, after all He is the Alpha and the Omega "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" (Revelations 22:13 NLT). You see, all of us have a story and God is the main character, even though we act like we are. When and why do we decide to take God out of our story? I realize that I have no story without Him. So, what I am saying is that God was, is and will always be there when we are going through all those unwanted emotions, therefor this part of my blog is extremely special to me because it comes from my heart to yours.

My Walk

My walk hasn't been a smooth ride, I've definitely hit a few bumps along the way and was also left with some dents, but it is ok because those dents have reminded me of my need of God in my life. Let me start by introducing myself, my name is Denisse Rodriguez and I was born in Lima, Peru but moved to Palm Beach Gardens, FL when I was 10 and that was 22 years ago so let's do the math hahaha. I got married pretty young at the age of 21 to a wonderful, caring and crazy Cuban guy. His name is Rigo and we've been married for almost 11 years, not perfect but beautiful years, which out of it came 2 gifts from God, my smart and caring boy Antony (8yrs) and my fearless leader Andrea (5yrs). I accepted Christ into my life at the age of 21 at a TD Jakes men's conference, yes you read correctly, a men's conference. How I ended up there it's a crazy story, but thank God I ended up there because I sure needed it. In July of 2003 I decided to take a ride to Georgia so that I could visit an ex-boyfriend. You see, he lived in West Virginia but he was in GA because he was attending the TD Jakes men's conference (he became a christian after we dated), Can you see now how I ended up in the men's conference? Ok, to make a long story short, I didn't go to GA for the conference nor was I planning to go there, but God had a plan (and I'm glad He did because I sure didn't have any plans for my life) when I was getting ready to return to FL, my brand new car (pretty much out of the dealer) broke down, so my ex-boyfriend picked me up but told me that he was running late to the conference and that I had to come with him and he happened to have an extra ticket because one of his friend got sick and was not able to make it. So, I went and as I sat there in the convention center surrounded by men I listened to a testimony from a famous football player and tears could not stop rolling down my eyes, I didn't understand what was happening to me, but they weren't sad tears, they felt like cleansing tears, but cleansing from what? Well, remember how I mentioned in the beginning of a few bumps along the way? Let's put it this way, I was not living a life that was pleasing God nor was I pleased with it myself, I was doing a lot of things that I shouldn't have been doing and surrounding myself with people that were no good for me, I felt alone and empty. After that conference my life drastically changed, I found a church in my town, met my husband there and I was married 6 months later, I told you it drastically changed!!! Well, you'll be hearing more about me and where I am now in life through this blog.